James' Space-Time Continuum

We are geniuses...genii....whatever. We're amazing and sure to win the Nobel Prize for this one. We have discovered a hole in the space time continuum. It's James. He bends space and time. Let me explain, for all you skeptics.

In the morning James is a pleasant bundle to hold. He is usually happy with his world, gurgling, cooing, rolling, and kicking. Being adorable, in other words. Time flies by quickly during this time. As the day goes by he begins to throw his weight around, literally, and as he does his weight increases. We pick him up and he is heavier... and then heavier still. By night time he is unbelievably heavy. Much heavier than the morning.

For another thing, we are sure that he bent time yesterday. We had put him down for bed because our arms (and our backs) were going to give out under his increase when he decided to slow time down. We hereby witness that he stopped time so we could suffer through his crying a little longer. The minutes dragged and he only released his hold on time when he decided to fall asleep. We looked up to see that it had only been a few minutes by the clock but we know better.

Although, we do not have any hard evidence yet of this phenomenon we will continue our observations and await our Nobel Prize nomination. We are honest people and will put the prize money to good use. And don't worry, we won't forget all the little people who helped us here.

What's that? How does this discovery help humanity?

Pish, posh....let's just leave that for us genii to figure out, shall we?